In a classic passage on passing on the faith, two things stand out for me this week. The first is that Moses instructs us to live out our faith in God, as a means of being a model for our children in growing in faith. "Don't do as I say, do as I do" is such an appropriate way for us to live and witness to our children. Secondly, raising children in the faith is not just for their parents. It will also be the primary responsibility of parents. But grandparents, youth group leaders, Sunday School teachers and all members of the church have a responsibility to live out their faith and witness to our children.
In raising children in the faith, there are five things we should teach our children to value:
- their faith in Jesus Christ as lord and saviour;
- their family as the source of unconditional love and acceptance;
- themselves as someone uniquely made in the image and likeness of God;
- other people, especially those who are needy or vulnerable;
- the old and the new, finding the creative spot between innovation and tradition.
I think everyone would agree that parenthood can be difficult. You never know until it’s all over, just how well you’re going to measure up as a parent. Like many others, I know that if I had my chance to do it all again, I’d have done it a lot differently. You have to prepare well and be humble enough to seek advice. But it seems to me one of the main criteria is to be on good talking terms with your children, be slow to anger and love them with all your heart, through every stage of their development. But of course, in this day and age of letting your children make their own decisions, it can be hard for example, to know when to step in and say, this or that is not a good idea.
ReplyDeleteThe ideas expressed in the biblical text, suggest an expectation that our children will “conform” to our ideals or concepts for living and for life, through an adherence to the biblical imperatives. In many ways this steps across the idea held by many parents, that their children should be given enough slack to become sufficiently informed themselves. By so doing, it is hoped they can make their own choices in matters of life and in regards to faith as well, with a few well chosen, parental words of wisdom for guidance, along the way.
But what troubles me for example, are those families deemed to be “dysfunctional”. What will happen to those families, who simply don’t have an adequate intellectual or spiritual grasp of things, in order to offer their children the necessary life skills to step out on their own from time to time and make informed, rather than ill-informed decisions for themselves? How many children will grow up none the wiser because their parents, like them, were none the wiser themselves to begin with? So that the end result is just one mistake after the other, as they struggle to find their way through life with career prospects and relationships, social interaction and the plethora of bad behaviours they stand to adopt, because everybody else does these things anyway.
Let’s face it, not every family is so perfectly well balanced, with a well grounded scholastic base, a bag full of life skills and resplendent spiritual maturity, that it can steer its way with consummate ease around the pitfalls that lie in wait for the ill-prepared adolescent. And judging by the depth of problems facing young people today it’s a fair assumption that a majority of parents are sorely lacking in vital parenting skills. And even young people raised in “Christian homes” sometimes fall victim to the same behaviour patterns of those in non Christian homes.
Every child, deserves a chance to reach their full potential in life, with or without a Christian upbringing. Finding faith, that is fulfilling and meaningful for them, is of course essential and preferable, from our perspective. But even if they miss that opportunity, somebody will surely love them enough, to show them the way forward; that in itself is essential. So that children from broken homes and those who have never known the security of a stable, peaceful and loving family environment, can attain a semblance of satisfaction in life having achieved something worthwhile, in this relentlessly crazy world we live in.
I find it so sad, that each night somewhere, a child will live in fear, or have a tear stained face because mum and dad are continually fighting, or drunk; or envy the kids down the street, whose parents can provide far more for them than they will ever have. You cannot buy love in this world, but you can give it away, extravagantly if needs be, especially to those who need it. Say a prayer tonight for every child who feels alone or is acquainted with fear.
Regards
Mal L.