This week we begin a new four week series on healthy relationships. When we live with, and interact with others, relationships are inevitable. However, healthy relationships take time, effort and attention. Healthy relationships are worthwhile for our own sense of person hood and are an expression of the kingdom of God breaking through into this world. Recognising this we have identified Healthy Relationships as a Core Value of this congregation.
In his letter to the Ephesians Paul encourages them to "put off falsehood and speak truthfully." Throughout the Bible there is powerful emphasis on God's people speaking from a position of truth and honesty. In Psalm 15:1, 2 we read “Lord, we may dwell in your sanctuary? ...... Those...... who speak the truth from their hearts.” The foundation of healthy relationships is the ability for us to speak truthfully, without falsehood to others, God and ourselves. When our ability to speak truthfully is absent we conceal things from each other and ourselves and we put up false facades that mask who we are and what we’re really like. Through being open, genuine and speaking the truth about ourselves we are able to deeper our relationships with others and develop healthy/ier relationships.
But this does not mean that we should share every detail of our life with every person we meet. Healthy relationships require a healthy dose of guarded communication with those we don't know well, with those that are unable to cope with what we are sharing and those for whom it would be rude.
Though this is healthy, we need to be finding opportunities with those we know and trust and what to know better to push down our facades and reveal that which is hidden about ourselves. Sometimes this takes great courage and can result in our being hurt. But it is only through our willingness to place ourselves in a vulnerable position that our relationships with others will grow.
There is also the need to recognise that with a very few people, maybe two or three in our lifetimes, that we can be nearly totally open, revealing deep secrets and confessions about ourselves. Sharing to this level communicates how much we value these others in our lives and how important they are.
A challenge for all of us is to recognise when we are putting on a facade with another and to ask ourselves whether we need to do this. Or whether for the sake of healthy relationships we need to take the opportunity and pull down the facade and reveal a little more of ourselves. It is only by our taking the first step that others will respond and lead us into deeper intimacy with each other.
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